Gift from God
My vocation is a gift from God that is completely undeserved. Looking back at my life after all these years, I see how God has led me from the very beginning and helped me discern my life’s path at every step. He sent me the right people at the right time. This was not immediately apparent and I had to go a long way to make a decision.
I am from a non-practicing Catholic family (it was only recently that my mother began to go to Church). My grandmother brought me to Church but it was not a regular attendance. I remember that I made a conscious decision to go to church every Sunday when I was about 10 years old. During a sermon, the priest asked the gathered children: “Who will make a promise to God to go to church every Sunday?” After a moment of reflection, I raised my hand. This was my first step towards God. My faith grew slowly (just like my vocation). The annual pilgrimages that went through my village, especially of clergy and religious, evoked feelings in my heart that I didn’t understand. For me they were holy people who were close to God. When I was 11, I received First Holy Communion. At the time, I thought I wanted to become a Religious although I didn’t know any congregation. At the age of 12, the parish priest with whom I shared my desire invited me to a retreat for girls. Although there were obstacles because I was too young, his urgent request prevailed and I was able to participate. It was the first retreat in my life; I came home different but life went on.
The age of adolescence came. For me it was a time of trial as I struggled with myself. I met a boy with whom I began to make plans for the future. I was already in university and the time to make a life decision was approaching. But there were deep doubts about marriage and I felt that this relationship did not fill my heart; I wanted something more. It was then that childhood thoughts and experiences returned. Thanks to God’s Providence, I met the Oblate Fathers, one of them helped me through this difficult time. Once, during a prayer that I will forever remember, I experienced the “touch of God’s Love”. My vocation is strongly connected with my conversion. Confessions, prayers for discernment, times of seeking peace of heart… Jesus waited patiently for me. Finally, after talking with a Daughter of Charity, I made a decision: “Here, I am Lord, I come to do Your will” (Ps 40, 6-7). From that moment on, I have been with Him. I know that nothing and nobody will ever take me away from His hand and that His Love will never pass away.
sr Tatsiana, Province of Warsaw, Poland